Chapter 12: Rediscovering Progress!!

The day dawned nice and bright and I was like a man on a mission. Well it was a 'mental' mission at least. All I had to do was figure out what I was good at and then look for some part time opportunities in the same space and I was set! Cool!

So what am I good at?

Well post MBA, it seems everything. Kuch bhi kara lo yaar! Spoilt for choice! Damn!

Ok let me narrow it down. What do I like?

ummm...Talking? Something to do with the arts maybe? Something which gives me independence!

That's better! Ok now what am I looking for?

Some cash flows and some time to work on my plans.

Err...what plan? Dude, you also need to decide on what next!

Yeah yeah! I know!! One thing at a time.

Elated after this theoretical progress I decided to take a break and make some tea for myself before I stepped out of the house. I had to drop my mom to school as the driver had called in sick today. Reflecting on her job as a teacher, I wondered if there was any better job than that. Mom also wondered and asked me once why I did not have a go at teaching? Not a bad option.

But teach what? Something related to engineering?? Don't remember anything from that 'era'! Something related to MBA? Doable. But wouldn't I need some more qualification to do that?

Suddenly, I had a thought! Ideaaaa!! Something which I had never tried before, at least not formally. But my gut feel told me that it could work. Well, only one way to find out!! After dropping my mom at her school, I called up a friend to know more.

"Dude! Kya haal? Kya kar rahe ho? Free ho? I need to talk about something."

"Haan haan bolo. In office, but can talk."

"Yaar, you knew someone at an MBA coaching institute right? How would I come to know if someone needs teachers there?"

"For whom? You'll teach?!!!"

"hehe I just might! Batao to sahi!!"

"Sahi!! Yaar I knew someone who started a small coaching centre and then sold it off to IMS. But this was wayyy back. So i'll need sometime to get in touch with him and find out."

"Cool. Please pata karo yaar. Time to take control and stop drifting."

"Sahi hai boss! Kya padhaoge ye socha hai?"

"Not yet. Kuch to padha hi denge. Have baantofied so much gyaan! Maybe I can make some money while at it! hehe"

"Yeah. Why not man! I think its a grrt idea. Give me sm days, I'll get back to you."

"Cool! Let me know man. And knowing your propensity to be lazy, I'll buzz you and keep reminding you! hehe" I said.

As I hung up I thought to myself - I had no clue what would be required and what I would teach and all! And there was only one way to find out I guess. This was still progress!!

I guess progress got redefined for me.

**********

Meanwhile, on the "Plans" front, there were two separate things that I was working on, with a couple of friends. It was in early stages yet and both had a long term horizon. So in effect I was left with a lot of time on my hands. Most of which was spent at home with family and friends and being online and catching up with friends who were whiling away time in their workplaces. Not much difference there. They were being paid for their time whereas I was working for myself hence was not being paid!! :D

And I was also watching a lot of TV. News channels. Entertainment channels. Business channels. Knowledge channels! You name it, I saw it. And I was getting pretty bugged with what they were showing.

A few days after the teaching brainwave (and reminding my friend about it) I was whiling away my time online when an email popped into my account.

It was from one of my venture partners in Mumbai who was asking for access to the .com which I had purchased for that venture. The understanding was that we all would share the costs once the venture got going. Well, that did not happen and neither did my money come back to me. It was not about the amount, which was nominal. But still...

Although I was in no mood to reply, I thought about it and I did. I wrote back that since it was not useful to me anymore and knowing that they might be still playing in the same space, I was willing to sell the name to them. At the same cost at which I bought it. Fair enough, right?

Not surprisingly, I never heard back from them.

Which got me thinking. Was there a way to monetize the name which I had bought? So I had a domain. I had a lot of free time. I had the internet at my disposal for research. I had a computer science degree and I had an MBA!!!

Around the same time, some random news channel was playing another random news story.

Ideaaa!!!! What if.....Can I? Is it doable? No no! Not feasible.There was almost a sense of deja vu as similar thoughts from two days back flashed in my head. Only the context was different. And this time I was excited!! Could it be that I had just thought of a venture idea? It was so out of the blue that I needed some time to calm down and gather my thoughts.

But don't I need a plan? Financials, Marketing strategy, Operational plan etc etc. - I asked myself.

Chuck it man! A fair enough idea, a one pager, lots of research and I should be ready to take off - I answered myself!! No time for analysis paralysis now. And waise bhi, it was all about execution. Right? I had already seen that. I had all the resources at my disposal and I needed to do this on my own, work independently and just go for it. Not be dependent on anyone. Make my own mistakes and learn from them.

Brimming with the idea and enthusiasm and gusto, and quite like an inspired, intrepid explorer, I dived headlong into my research and ideation process.

I still had no clue where I was headed, or what all was required. But with no easy answers forthcoming, I was willing to find out the hard way. And more importantly, I don't think I was in limbo anymore. I was taking baby steps towards where I wanted to go.

I guess progress was never redefined for me.

(to be continued...)

Chapter 11: Second wind!!

It was great being back home! And of course it became sweeter since I had no office to attend to!! Waking up late, having breakfast and then sleeping off again. Meeting friends and family in the evenings, life was relaxed and life was good! Ekdum Chillax!

But that was just an exterior calm. Internally, I was struggling with the big question - What next? There were a couple of ideas and friends that I had spoken to but nothing was too concrete as of now. I was also contemplating getting back into a job! In the meanwhile, there was some lingering disappointment regarding the Mumbai incident but what the heck....easy come, easy go I guess!

But as a couple of weeks passed and with nothing to do, I was decidedly getting uneasy about where I was headed. And I think when faced with an uncertain situation, such thoughts come to the fore pretty quickly! So to figure out what next, I started looking for people who were in the same boat as me, and try and understand among other things, whether I was sane or not! In the same context, I spoke to an old friend from school, who had ventured into his own thing. I hadnt met him in like 10 years, but thanks to FB we were connected yet again. So one of the weekends, we decided to meet up at one of the watering holes in PVR saket

Now for those familiar with delhi, PVR saket is a landmark in the true sense. The first of the PVR multiplexes, it was a single screen named "Anupam" before PVR took it over. Soon it became a much in vogue hangout and even though bigger malls have cropped up close by, it still manages to pull in a decent amount of people daily. So it was there that we met at one of the watering holes.

"So tell me! What have you been upto man! It's been like ages dude!" I exclaimed as we settled down and ordered some beers. We caught up with what both of us had been upto over all these years, while remembering the time spent together. Pretty soon we turned to more serious discussions.

"So how is your venture going?" I asked my friend as he recounted his experiences with entrepreneurship.

"Great yaar. At least you got something off the ground! I am kind of stuck. What I was trying did not work out and now I am just trying to figure out what to do next, or maybe get back into a job?"

My friend said...."Dude first up, it's great that you are doing what you are doing! Not many people do that. And I finally feel great that I am not the only one who is acting weird!!!" ha ha ha

"But jokes apart, if you are really serious about entrepreneurship then don't give up. Do some freelancing and get some cash flows. I have been freelancing for quite a while now, and whenever I feel I should get back into a job - I just close my eyes and mentally picture myself in my previous job. 5 minutes there, and I am happy doing what I am doing. So don't give up dude." he said, as some more beer arrived!

Later that night after getting back home, I wondered if there was a middle path? Not being in a job? Getting some cash flows and also working on other ideas? All at the same time! Why was I thinking of only 2 options - A job or a successful venture and nothing in between? What if I carried on the same road, while distributing my energy between ventures and freelancing? hmm..maybe...just maybe...

Was that possible? Well I had some ideas in mind, but right now the beer was taking over! I thanked my friend in my head and felt enthused about the whole situation all over again.

I decided to do something about it, first thing in the morning.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

(to be continued...)

Chapter 10 : Confusion and Closure

I woke up on Sunday morning with a splitting headache.

Coupled with hunger and a lot of body pain, it pretty much became impossible to sleep. This was after a thoroughly satisfying although exhausting 24 hours of music, drinking, gaming, talking, partying, movie watching, laughing & talking while movie watching, chatting, calling up friends late at night, driving around...Friday late night to Saturday late night!

Age man, age is catching up with you dude...I thought as I headed to my friends room to wake him up for breakfast.

"Dude...utho yaar please! Verry hungry! Lets go for breakfast!!"

"Abey, abhi to 8 bhi nahin baje! We slept at 5!!! So jaao yaar!"

"Dude, ISB waale ho ke aisa bol rahe ho?! Forgot the times when we used to party till 5 and be in class at 8, then sleep in class and wait for the coffee break at 9!! Point is, you can take it. You have been trained to do this.!!" I exclaimed.

"Kahan chalna hai?"

"Lets go to Vaishali! I want to have Idli, wada, dosa and coffee!!" I said.

"Wah!! That's practically the entire menu man!!"

After looking for parking on FC road, getting it far off from Vaishali, then walking down to (as always bursting at the seams) Vaishali, waiting for a while to get seated - we finally settled down in the open area and ordered Idli, wada, dosa and coffee.

"So whats next for you?" asked my friend.

"Don't know man. Havent thought about it. Actually, I havent given myself time to think about it. Abhi I am just getting over the disappointment. Similar to a break up you know!" I smiled.

"HA HA. Uska to kaafi experience hai tumhe!!"

"he he Oh yeah!! More than what's good for me! So what do you think I should do next?" I asked him.

"I think you should go ahead with your idea, without them. I know you can't do it without domain people and all, but there must be something you something you can start with. Maybe once it gains traction you can look for domain people."

"Hmmm, maybe. That's a thought, but I'll need to rework my entire idea and execution approach. And that's gonna take some time." I said, as our food arrived.

"Yeah, so what? Dekho yaar, disappointments like these will be part and parcel of your journey now. The sooner you get used to them the better." he said.

"True! Wo to hai. I am just maha disappointed I did not see this coming. Although, I couldnt have done much had I seen it coming as well! Anyways, let me go through with the sales work for my VC and wait for him to get back. I'll decide on my future course of action after that." I said.

"Haan. At least you have moved from pure IT work to some non IT work. This experience should come in handy."

"Yeah. As my friend said, 'Joshi, you have been succesfully un'IT'ed' "..we laughed, as the coffee arrived.

**********

After a thoroughly entertaining weekend, I was back in Mumbai. Nothing like a good party with friends, to reboot and to feel refreshed! I doved with gusto into the sales calls, but then a strange thing happened.

Even as I was slogging through the sales calls, and was thinking on the next course of action, there were days when I experienced sudden loss of focus. There were days when I felt like chucking everything and heading back home. Or heading back into the shelter of corporate life. Kya kar raha hu, kyu kar raha hu!! Am I doing the right thing? Is this the right way to go? Enough is enough!!

Not so soon, I thought to myself as I somehow dragged myself through those days. One thing that kept me going were the sales calls! They were going on great, as the product I was peddling was fantastic. But I was becoming more and more disillusioned with my stay in Mumbai as the days went on.

Somehow, 3 weeks went by and finally my VC came back. We decided to meet up the next day after a catch up call in the night and discuss everything.

"Hello Sir!! How have you been? How are things?!" exclaimed my VC as I walked into his office.

"Brilliant! I think all the places I visit showed interest! We just need to be smart with the pricing model and all of them will be on board " I smiled and replied.

"Excellent! Yeah we just need to break in. Then the product will sell itself! What about your venture? Are you in touch with your partners? If you want I can arrange a meeting." Said the VC.

"Nope. Nothing after the mails 3 weeks back. And I dont think I would like to speak with them either."...I said.

"Fair enough. Look Utkarsh, you need to be very careful while taking this next step. You see, entrepreneurship is like being in a candy shop. Every item looks tempting. And you I see are geared to the idea of entrepreneurship than to an idea in particular. Which is good, but you need to be careful of your next idea. Don't decide in haste. Give it real deep thought. You have been through a stumble and another one will surely hurt you."

"Thanks. Yeah thats correct. I will be sounding out some of my friends who are planning to go my way and then lets see what happens." I said.

"Good! Let me know if I can help in anyway. Now with respect to the sales work, you'll be done in the next 2-3 days?"

"Yeah. Then I plan to go back to Delhi, need to attend my parents anniversary!! And cool down a bit after all this action." I smiled.

"Great. I'll keep your payment ready in a couple of days. And then after your break, in case you think you would want to help me further on this, let me know. We can work something out. OK? I need to head out now. Take care and we'll keep in touch."

**********

So I hadnt made it. The VC tried hard to get us together again, but I was really not into it now. The trust was gone so I politely declined.

A week after I had the conversation with the VC, I was heading back home. Rajdhani express. 430 PM. Mumbai Central to New Delhi. Thankfully there was no uncle around this time. :)

The next steps were still not clear as I boarded the train, but I had ruled out the option of working for the VC, even though he was all for it. Somehow I was not confortable with the idea of workng for someone, so soon after taking the plunge. So I decided to put that on the backburner. Looked like, going by elimination was the only thing that I was getting good at.

What was I going to do once I got back home? I had a couple of ideas in mind but I was as clueless as I was when I got to Mumbai 2 months back.

But maybe this was the start of my journey and not the end? Maybe Mumbai to Delhi was the direction I was supposed to take. Maybe there really was pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Maybe this was rock bottom and the only way was up.

Chalo, at least I still had some hope left.

(to be continued...)